MISSION FROM HELL

I'M NOT DEAD YET MOTHER FREAKER (but I'm about to be)

WHATS FETCHING GOOD?

HOW ARE YALL???

We BACK with another goofy week, more challenges and me wanting to shoot someone!

Let's hop into it.

So to begin... Its been rough out here. Physically and mentally. You know what helps with that? Having my companion tell me I'm fat almost everyday. YAY! I'm so blessed and privileged to be here!!! So basically, I'm not the most skinny guy in the world right? Like I could use some work. Little ab exercises here and there, maybe some extra cardio on top of the miles we walk everyday. Well. Here's some of the things he's told me. Fetching enjoy this trash.

"you have a belly like the Brazilians"

"you're a pig".

"you need the healthier option" - (talking about desserts at a lunch we had).

"tubby".

"you're fat".

I also one time overheard him on the phone with his family and he was talking about how we were going to start working out more in the morning and he told his family "the bloke is fat" talking about me.

He once told me "you look retarded" when I took off my glasses for a second.

There's more, but I don't care to try and think of them at this time- oh and by the way, we had a district pday last week, and I was telling Elder Ellis' last companion (Elder Rushing) about how I was using the pull up bar at the house and it wasn't secure and I fell. You know what he said? He said "is it because you're fat?".

Not really sure where all this is coming from but it's whatever. Not gonna take it to heart and by the way, I don't say rude stuff to him EVER. Also don't stress I know I'm not that fat baha. It's just wack. It's also crazy coming from Elder Ellis given he's skinnier than the pole his momma dances on. I'm afraid I might knock him out soon...

One more thing about it, during lessons and lunches when I'm speaking and I ask for or repeat a word to make sure I'm right, (or crack a joke about something dumb), he acts pissed off or rolls his eyes. Great trainer I got here. I find this funny, because on three different occasions, people have told me that I spoke better than him and that they understand me better.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I don't really have anything else from this week prepared so, sorry for the boring email. Lol

RANDOM STUFF:

1. I baptized Wagner- the grandson of Rosa and Adalism, so thats cool. He's a cool kid.

2. We gave a lesson in a bar.

3. Using the Gmail Ai thing, I found you can ask for recipes so I made cookie dough out of flour and sweetened condensed milk, and it's bomb as fetch.

4. To celebrate our baptism, I made lemon pepper wings, BBQ honey wings and homemade fried to celebrate (they were the best homemade wings I've ever had).

5. Elder Panama said I'm the only American he's met that cooks good.

6. A Brazilian woman asked if I was Brazilian... I think the sun is getting to me.

7. I'm going pro on the kendama for real.

8. We named (I named) the black cat Kendrick. Yes. She's a girl but something about the name works.

9. Elder Ellis threw up like 20 times this week. We were on route to hit all our goals and didn't hit one (deserved to be honest).

10. Patrícia thinks she owns this place (she does).

11. We went to these members house for a breakfast. It was super sick because they live way out of town. The area looked so cool, like the actual Amazon.

12. Wagners family has turtles.

13. I accidentally wore my socks into the font for the baptism... (I had wet socks for the rest of the day LOL).

14. Lots of cool cars here.

15. Crazy member at lunch showed me this giant knife thing. It's from Game of Thrones I guess.

16. I got creatine. Yuh.

17. Got Elder Afutiti addicted to Tereré.

18. We think Patrícia is pregnant. When we pet her belly that's when she attacks. She also does this weird coughing thing so hopefully she's okay.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK(4):

"white autistic monkey" - Elder Panama (talking about me)

"I hate niggas" - Elder Afutiti

"Chapman, the best nigga" - Elder Panama

"I need Patrícia to give me babies" - Elder Ellis

SCRIPTURE OF THE WEEK: John 18:20 -

"Jesus answered him, I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing."

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not hidden, it's open for all to hear.

Well. Sorry for no crazy stories this week. Just kind of losing motivation to write (and be a missionary) (we will get into that later). Super tired all the time. But just wait, I'm going to learn to write books when I return home (I have great ideas for some). I love all of y'all much. Freaking legends. Don't have much going on today so look out for personal emails lol. Sorry for taking so long. Keep smiling, keep doing your best, keep being fetching awesome. Remember who you are, remember to read ya scriptures and pray. JESUS LOVES YOU!

PEACE <3

SENDING OUT TWO EMAILS. I HAVE LOTS OF PICTURES.

PHOTOS (my email is being funky sorry if they're out of order):

1. Amazonian Explorer Catches Turtle.