Call me John the Way I be Baptizing December 30, 2024

Errrrbody needs a little Jesus

WHATS GOOOOD YOOO??

I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A BETTER CHRISTMAS THAN I DID!!!

COULDNT BE TOO HARD TO BEAT BAHAHA

Okay it wasn't that bad

I got flamed by the Mission President...

On Monday I got the greatest haircut of my freaking life. It was 5$ and the nastiest faded mullet you've ever seen. Well. Uhhh basically mullets and bald fades aren't allowed. And I now have both...

Okay so basically, it's Christmas right? CHRISTMAS! The most chill holiday there is. So, me and Elder Vitti slept in, just a little. Like literally 30 mins to 7am. No issues there I would think. Anyway, we are just chilling, making food hanging out. My parents, and grandparents were in the process of sending me a package for the holiday. Well we were having the package sent thru Uber and it was taking a while because we had to contact the Secretary of History guy (this missionary dude) and we had to wait for him to get to the office to get the package sent out. Takes time. So we continue to hang out. Finally the gift arrives at around like 10am. Legit. Some fire gifts, card games, a fire yoyo (I'm going pro already) and a bunch of candy and snacks (which I don't need btw)(I'm gonna be a chunky monkey)(also thank you mom, dad, papa and grandma, yall are the best) Anywho, we finally decide it's about time to get ready to head out for out lunch, but wait. We forgot to clean the night before. I always say "precisamos limpar" (we need to clean) but we never do. As we are about to start getting ready, we get a phone call... "OH MY GOSH AP's!" Elder Vitti exclaims. Oh no. We are done for. Dirty house and not even close to being ready. WHY ARE YOU SHOWING UP TO OUR HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS? FREAKING WEIRDOS. Okay so Elder Vitti tells me to hop in the shower. I do and he let's the AP's in. I'm showering, freaking out because we aren't ready. That's when I hear the most terrififying thing ever. The voice of the Mission President... NO NO NO WHY RIGHT NOW? MY HAIR, OUR DIRTY HOUSE, AND US NOT BEING READY TO GO. What a great combo. I hop out of the shower. Wave while in just a towel, and run to the room to put my clothes on. I very speedily put my clothes on, and walk into the kitchen where Elder Vitti is in one chair across from President in another, in full on interrogation mode. I was so scared. Immediately I shake President's hand, and he sees my hair. I wanted to run. Okay so I can only understand a very small amount of Portuguese, but I could tell he wasn't very happy with me or with Elder Vitti "for letting you get that haircut." Also them freaking AP's man, they just stared at us while we were getting flamed for our mistakes. I could tell they wanted to laugh, and I even asked Elder Vitti if he also thought that, and he said yes. President was also pissed about the house being a mess, and I was so mad that we didn't clean the night before like I wanted to. But that's the thing is like bro, if we are gonna clean, I have to start cleaning and tell Elder Vitti to help. Bro never says we should clean. A little frustrating but I don't get mad about it. As the AP's were talking to us I see President snooping around our kitchen. He stops at my desk and what does he do? HE TAKES MY FREAKING CHOCOLATE!!! THAT DIRTY LITTLE JERK!!! I was, and still am, genuinely PISSED. Like bruh. It's not that big of a deal. It's just a little peice of chocolate. But the fact that this grown man, who just got done being pissed off at us, took my candy WITHOUT ASKING. Be for real. Wack. I told another companionship about it, Elder Bendall, and Elder Randall, and Elder Randall told me that THE SAME THING HAPPENED AT THEIR PLACE LATER THAT DAY. President took their candy. This man needs to be stopped.

After that, the Christmas day went pretty normal, we went to a families house for lunch, and had some fire lasagna, and I ate too much. I really enjoyed talking with this family, they were all super cool... well for the most part. The older woman (the mom), yapped for pretty much the entire lunch. I wasn't entirely sure what she was saying but I could tell she was mad about something. Her daughter put on Google translate "she wants to sue the stake president." Crazy. Later the mom continued her yapping and she looks at me and says "todos os americanos são racistas" telling me that all Americans are racist. EXCUSE ME? Look lady if I didn't like yall Brazilians I would not be here right now. Kinda put a bad vibe on my Christmas lunch but it wasn't the end of the world because the rest of the family was normal and really nice. Apparently Joe Biden was in Manaus like a month ago, and they showed me a video of him finishing his speech, and walking off randomly into the rain forest, very clueless. It was funny. Oh and the entire family pointed out my hair and said they liked it, so TAKE THAT PRESIDENT. The rest of the day was pretty chill, and to be honest I don't remember what we did lol.

Me and Elder Vitti were able to teach Matteus the final little lessons before being able to do the baptismal interview with him. It went super smoothly, and on Saturday we had the baptism!!!

It was super sick, Matteus was super happy and his mom and dad where there as well. I was nervous, because I was afraid I'd forget Matteus's full name, or the words for the baptism, because it was in Portuguese, but thank goodness I worked on memorizing it the night before and it all went well. Elder Vitti said I did a good job. I have a ton of snacks and candy (that I don't need), so I wrapped up some cheetos and chocolates, and gave them to Matteus after the baptism, along with some sick car stickers. He loved them. It was awesome. I have a few photos from the baptism, but I'll have to attach them to a different email because I won't have enough room on this one so look out for the second email :)

I'm still really struggling with everything. I feel super awful all the time, bad headaches, extreme tiredness, and I'm also like sad all the time. It's been really rough and I'm not sure what to do. Portuguese gets a little bit better day by day so that's good. Being a missionary is not easy. But I'll keep most my complaints away from the email. We will keep things on the upside today :)

RANDOM STUFF:

1. I'm still a terere addict, I drank so much in the morning that I pissed legitimately 8 times in one hour.

2. I really miss Taco Bell. I've been feining for a burrito or something.

3. Elder Vitti and I cheffed up some FIRE steak and dumplings the other night.

4. I bought 3 new flavors of terere.

5. I'm starting to like Brazilian pizza better than American.

6. We had an amazing lunch with Matteus and Vera on Christmas Eve, some of the best food I've had since I've been here. Stroganoff.

7. ALRIGHT WHY ARE ALL THESE ABOUT FOOD? (you can tell what's on my mind as I write this)

8. On the way home from Christmas eve dinner at bishops, I saw a dude on the side of the road grilling an entire pig head, so thats cool.

9. Elder Randall has a "snake" (crazy women that are obsessed with missionaries) and I saw her just staring at him at church, multiple times. Elder Vitti says "women no like church, they like missionary" bahaha.

10. People shoot off an insane amount of fireworks on Christmas eve at 12. It looks like a battlefield, and I'm excited for new years.

SCRIPTURES OF THE WEEK:

that's right we have two this week

3 Nephi 13:8 “Be not ye therefore like unto them, for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him.”

3 Nephi 14:11 “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

I like these a lot. Always remember if you need help with anything, you can always ask Heavenly Father. I've been having more meaningful prayers lately and it's been great. I invite you to do the same :)

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"I need this, love and bike" Elder Vitti, after he saw a young guy and young woman riding down the road on a motorcycle. (and to be honest I totally feel the same way) "love and bike" I couldn't have said it better myself. Beautiful words spoken by Elder Vitti as per usual.

“Are you whore?” - Elder Vitti

“Huh?” - Elder Chapman

“Nothing” - Elder Vitti

“Okay then” - Elder Chapman. Not really sure what the context was on this one... bahaha

I love you guys bunches, I hope all is well. The longer I'm away the more I appreciate yall. Keep bring awesome, keep praying, keep trying your best. Please pray for me, as I continue praying for you. You got this. I believe in you. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. Oh and send me emails. I love reading them, and I'll try and send one back when I get the chance. Until next week: PEACE :)

Okay, so like I said earlier, I will have a separate email sent out with photos from the baptism, and I'll have normal ones down below...

1. Christmas Eve Dinner