CATS, CRACK COCAINE and an AUSTRALIAN (and maybe some Nazis)

MOM NOTE* Noah sent me these pics this morning and I cried a little. God sent Noah a cat. It's a little thing, but I think God knew that Noah would like a cat so He sent him a cat. Let's be real: Noah is struggling... like... a lot. Not that a cat is going to make everything better, but it can't hurt.

Noah's Housemates singing Happy Birthday to him... in RLDS Spanish (AKA Portuguese)

BEGIN NOAH'S EMAIL from January 20, 2025

What the actual FETCH is up yo?

Okay so before we begin, I would like to say that generally throughout the week, I write my emails and prepare them for Monday... This week was super busy and I started to write this email last night... I woke up and what I had written for this email had disappeared from my drafts. So bare with me. Thanks.

How we doing? How we feeling? How many people did you put on date for baptism this week? 0? That's what I thought. Do better. (just kidding I love each and every one of you dearly).

ELDER CHAPMAN IS BACK IN YA MOTHER FLIPPIN EMAIL SO GET READY FOR SOME BS

Transfers were this week and and I am no longer with our dear freind: Elder Vitti. Super super, unfortunate (not really). I'm going to be 100% honest... We didn't do fetching crap. Respectfully Elder Vitti was an awful trainer. I'm pretty sure I'm close to the same level I was when I first got here so that's awesome. Don't get me wrong, he was a pretty fun companion but I think that me and my new comp- Elder Ellis, have gotten more done in less than one week together than me and Elder Vitti did in 6...

Elder Ellis. He's a pretty sick "bloke" (whatever the fetch that means). Mmhmm. He's from Australia. We've been getting along pretty well, and we work a lot. We always have our days planned out and we always have a full schedule. It's pretty nice and I'm sure I'm going to grow a lot this transfer (a lot more than last transfer). THE ACCENT. Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful. A work of art even and very attractive (I don't like boys I promise). But sometimes, some days... I can't even tell if he's speaking to me in English or Portuguese. IT'S SO BAD LOL. We will be walking down the street talking and I have no idea what he says, so I just say "ohhh yeah" and smile, hoping that what he was saying was something good and not about how his best friend died. Bahaha

The night of transfers, at around 8pm we had a lesson to give. WHAT? It was so late and the night of transfers is crazy, so I was super surprised. I had to drop off my bags and we immediately walk/ran to my new friends house to teach the lesson. It was supposed to be a family of about 5-6 and it ended up being ONE lady and she was FREAKING SO SASSY BRO. Oh my heck. So basically we started talking and I couldn't remember a word, so I asked Elder Ellis what it was. She goes "you can just speak to me in English" but in a really rude tone. ALRIGHT MARIA LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR SALVATION IN A LANGUAGE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU. ARE. GOOFY. She was always constantly correcting every little thing we said. Anyway we continue to teach her and we are getting nearer to the end of the lesson. As we are about to close Maria asks some questions. What were these questions? The dreaded "Why did the church have polygomy?" and "what does 2nd Nephi 5:21 mean?". BRUH WHY WHY WHY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN? But to be honest she was asking valid questions. Just awkward ones to answer. After Elder Ellis answered her questions (which by the way he did a great job at), we bore our testimonies and Maria told me that she understood my English better than my Portuguese. But here's the thing... Other people that we talk with say that I speak really good Portuguese. I don't speak much of the language but I speak it good (I guess). Maria can fetching screw off. Respectfully. Actually... Disrespectfully. I don't like her. But, everyone is a child of God. She's just a feisty one. All good. We love everyone (sort of)

RANDOM STUFF:

1. Elder Ellis and I helped a family move.

2. We have cats that jump through our windows. They are very sweet. By "they" I mean the black one. The white one likes to bite my feet.

3. We have 4 Elders in our house. Ellis- Australia, Medina- New Mexico, Panama- Ecuador. Yes his last name is Panama. Actually is second middle name and last name is Panama. It's kinda sick.

4. We got 3 people on date for Baptisms so be prepared for a crazy transfer. We are shooting for like 8 baptisms. Gon be nuts.

5. A scary man in a hood jumped through some bushes and yelled at us. We walked away and didn't look back.

6. Ellis walks extremely fast so that's good for me I guess.

7. A guy on a motorcycle almost did a wheelie right into us.

8. I found some dope baggy Jean shorts at a thrift store for less than a dollar. (photo down below).

9. Elder Vitti sang Happy Birthday in English at midnight on the 14th (I am 20 now by the way). Freaking old and decaying into nothingness.

10. We went hooping this morning (photo down below).

11. We visited this woman's house because she claims to have evil spirits living there. We are missionaries and Ghost Busters now.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK. I HAVE 4 THIS TIME:

“You can be a crack addict on the mission” - Elder Ellis

“Jesus in the cybertruck, with Peely in the back.” - Zane Chapman

“How much crack did you do this morning Adley?” - Elder Chapman

“Five lines” - Adley

“If I was white I would have many black slaves” - Elder Panama

SCRIPTURE OF THE WEEK: John 16:33

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

WHAT A VERSE BRO WOWZA. Jesus is always cooking up something crazy. Have peace and be of good cheer. Christ has overcome the world. YUH

YUP THAT'S IT THIS WEEK. Sorry this email is a little more lame than usual. I didn't really have the time this week. Hopefully next week is better. I love y'all and want the best for you. Keep being awesome. Keep improving. Don't give up. You got this. Remember who you are and what you want do. OH AND TO THE PERSONAL EMAIL PEOPLE... IM SO FREAKIN SORRY IM SLACKING SO HARD RIGHT NOW. I'll GET TO THEM SOON I PROMISE (I say this every week my bad). But yeah. Jesus loves you.

PEACE <3

PHOTOS IN ORDER YUHHH:

1. Meme.